Endorse Jesus, Vote Romney

"Some came to here to hear an endorsement.  My endorsement will be Jesus. I’ll tell you whom I’m going to vote for, but I don’t think that makes it an endorsement. I’m going to vote for Mitt Romney, but I’m not telling you to.”-- Jim Garlow San Diego Church Pastor, from the pulpit

Because Heaven Is A Vote Away

Wouldn't be an election year without churches and the GOP streamlining their message.  Today's installment of tax exempt GOP political campaigning:

• The pastor of New Hope Baptist Church in Seneca, Kansas, Republican Curtis Knapp says President Barack Obama has gone too far in supporting same sex marriage and it’s time for the U.S. government to begin killing gay men and lesbians. 

• Young Republican sings a song of joy.  “The Bible is right, somebody’s wrong,” the boy, who appears to be around 4-years-old, sings. “Romans 1 and 27, ain’t no homo gonna make it to heaven.”  Before the boy can finish the song, members of the congregation jump their feet, applauding and cheering wildly. 

• A right wing Christian think tank is telling President Barack Obama that the “wages of sin is death” after he announced support for equal marriage rights for LGBT people.  Republican and Grand Leader of the  Family Research Council, Tony Perkins, penned a letter to the president citing what he believes to the sinful nature of Obama's policies.
  

• Republican Pastor Ronnie Spriggs of Hager Hill Freewill Baptist Church in Kentucky said during a May 13 sermon that he wants Obama voted out of office because of the president's support of gay marriage.

With Jesus Not in the Race, Romney Will Have To Do

Man of God Pat Robertson told his millions of viewers that without Jesus being in the race, Mitt Romney was their only hope.

“The question is if you have two candidates, you don’t have Jesus running against somebody else. You have Obama running against Romney.”

There was never any chance the Christian Right wackos were going to vote for Obama in the first place.  I'm actually proud of the fact that the same guy I vote for is loathed by the wing nut crusaders.  I wouldn't be able to sleep at night knowing the guy I voted for was only allowed to believe the earth is but 6,000 years old.

God Has Ended Rick Santorum's Campaign

God spoke to Rick Santorum this morning and told him to pack it up.  As always, Rick obliged.

In other news, there was no way Santorum was going to win his home state of Pennsylvania on April 24th.  Chances are he was going to lose it even worse than his 2006 senate reelection, which he did by more than 20 points.

Speaking of Republicans Believing They Are in God's Will...

God's Chosen candidate Rick Santorum's wife tells idiot Glenn Beck that her husband running for president is God's Will.

They're always in God's Will, always.

Republican Chair Arrested for Filming Naked Boys

The Republican Walk With God just keeps getting sturdier and sturdier....who could have guessed something like this would happen??:

A former New Jersey Republican city chair has been arrested on multiple charges of using a hidden camera to videotape naked boys using communal showers at a Catholic high school.

Patrick Lott, the 54-year-old assistant principal at Bernardsville Middle School since 2009, is facing more than 50 counts including endangering the welfare of a child and invasion of privacy at Immaculata High School in Somerville, where he volunteered as a coach.

Investigators raided Lott’s home about two weeks ago and seized computer files that included videos of naked male students in the shower. Nine or more of the students were under the age of 16, according to WABC.

Another Gay Republican Gets Caught

Normally I don't mention local governments and their elected officials all that much.  TFB's focus is primarily on federal politics and trying to keep track of thousands of localities would be an impossible task.  But our focus on the Republican Walk With God sets precedent for mentioning that yet another Republican elected official has been caught pretending not to be gay and recklessly spending tax payer money.

Gay 

Fiscal irresponsibility is nothing new for Republicans. Today's federal debt is overwhelmingly made up of Republican policies left over from Reagan and the Bushes. Their fake concern for moral values and Bible thumping, though, is less well known but is finally starting to go mainstream.

Greg Davis, a Republican mayor of a small town in Mississippi, has been busted shopping at a gay sex store in Canada.  The $67 purchase he tried to bill his town for was questioned by the public as to what exactly their mayor was doing in Canada and why tax money should be used.  Turns out Davis was trying to use tax payer money to support his homosexuality.  But the story gets better.  Given that Davis had been extremely dishonest about his entire life, auditors went back through his many expenses and discovered that the Republican who had always claimed to be a fiscally conservative moral values crusader had billed the town for $170,000 for personal expenses, mainly food and alcohol.  Nothing says moral values and fiscal conservatism quite like spending tax payer money at a gay sex store in Canada.

As with all things Republican and moral, Davis merely needs to follow the trail already blazed by Republicans Ted Haggard and David Vitter and simply tell everyone that God has forgiven him and nobody can dare question that.

God Sends Earthquake and Hurricane to Warn Feds

Republican Presidential candidate Michelle Bachmann, who is just crazy as a loon, said over the weekend that the recent earthquake and hurricane are messages from God that politicians need to control spending.

“I don’t know how much God has to do to get the attention of the politicians. We’ve had an earthquake; we’ve had a hurricane. He said, ‘Are you going to start listening to me here?’ Listen to the American people because the American people are roaring right now. They know government is on a morbid obesity diet and we’ve got to rein in the spending.”

Is there really anything else to add to her commentary? Take this recent statement into the context that her and her husband believe gays can be healed through prayer and have tried such therapy sessions on numerous occasions and you get the modern day equivalent of a lunatic.

*Update:

Ooooops....looks like I judged her Christian jihadist abilities too quickly.  Bachmann says her comment that God has sent earthquakes and hurricanes to America to get us to shape us fiscally was only a joke.  Hahahahahhahahaha...laugh people.

Typically you tell jokes about funny things with cute little punch lines.  Guess that's not what the kids are doing anymore.

Staunchly Anti-Gay Republican Caught Soliciting Gay Sex on Craigs List Refues to Resign

Just like my buddy Kent says, when caught in the wrong, Republicans always do the right thing and resign or go to jail.

Wait, maybe Kent meant to say always do the right thing and invoke God? Oh well it doesn't matter, because as we all know, Kent only knows what Rush Limbaugh and Fox News tell him.

For that matter, Republican Phillip Hinkle-- whom we mentioned the other day-- of the Indiana state legislature is not only refusing to resign but is calling the release of emails between him and his almost male lover a "shakedown." Technically a shakedown only happens if the gay male doesn't run out of the hotel room scared. But don't worry, to keep the gay man, because obviously  Rep. Hinkle isn't the gay man in this story, the state rep gave him an iPad, a Blackberry cellphone, $100 cash, showed him his cock and grabbed his rear. So it's not like anything remotely queer happened. Geez people.

MO Lt. Gov. Admits to Frequenting Strip Clubs Prior to Finding God

Just in the nick of time, Missouri's Lt. Gov found God and kicked his strip club habit. That's what I call power, power, wonder working power...in the blood of the Lamb.

Stop Me If You've Heard This One Before...

...staunchly anti-gay elected Republican gets caught with an 18 year old male he met online...

Incumbent Republican Prays God Frees America from Terrorists and Progressives

Republican Rep. Paul Broun is no stranger to derangement. He is in essence everything that is wrong with American politics and the double standard Republicans enjoy. He has many times called the President of the United States a dictator, a socialist, even went so far as to suggest the president wants to lock Christians and conservatives (Republican voters?) in concentration camps.

In January 2010 he falsely claimed health care reform was the largest takeover of liberty the nation has ever seen.  In September 2009 he ridiculously said President Obama was creating an authoritarian government to take away our liberties and guns. And shorty after Barack Obama was elected, Broun went on the airwaves to remind the nation that Hitler came to power through democracy too.

Now he's issuing a public prayer on Independence Day that God will save America from people who want to destroy it like progressives and terrorists.

"We're standing on the precipice, staring down in the deep chasm of socialism and total government control," Broun said. [...]

There are those who wish to destroy the U.S., Broun said, citing radical Islam and "progressives."

"Father, there are many who want to destroy us from outside this nation," Broun said. "Folks like al-Qaeda and the radical Islamists. But there are folks that want to destroy us from inside, the progressives and the socialists, who want to make this nation a nation that's no longer under you, under God, but a nation that's ruled by man."

As evidenced, Broun believes the president to be a socialist, a progressive, even foreign born.  He truly believes President Obama is an enemy trying to destroy America.

Those are some huge charges against the president no doubt.  But I don't care about any of that.  He can call the president whatever he wants.  The problem is this is normal every day talk by many elected Republicans.  This is their version of partisanship.  But it's not partisan at all.  It's extremism.  Anyone with half a brain knows extremist rhetoric only breeds more extremist rhetoric-- it's an epidemic that is only getting worse.

Just the other day Rep. Todd Akin (R-MO) said liberalism means you hate God.  That's just not true.  But not only is it a lie, just like Broun's hate-filled speech, it's a tolerated if not encouraged form of disagreement for Republicans.  Not that a person of a different political party disagrees with you.  The person of a different political party is an enemy destroying your country.

Even after we've seen members of congress shot and residents of their districts murdered in the streets, the Republican Party still prefers to communicate in extremist language bent on destroying the boundaries of civil society.  If you want to know why Republicans refuse to hold a routine vote to raise the debt ceiling, just look at how they really feel about the president and his Party.  They don't just view him as a ideological different.  Or even as a member of the opposition party.  They really believe he's an enemy of the state who is trying to destroy America from within.  Would you vote for someone's policies if you thought they were destroying your country? Of course you wouldn't.

How can you possibly talk policies and specifics designed to move the country forward with people who don't even acknowledge your legitimacy to negotiate on behalf of the country in the first place?

Quickies

• Gay men in Kentucky are kicked out of a public pool paid by tax dollars and are told the Bible allows it to happen.  A public stoning should commence soon.

• Texas Governor Rick Perry says he might run for president and that the reason some Texans don't like him is because the Bible says no prophet is loved in their hometown.  This comes on the heels of Perry's call for governor's across the nation to come to Texas for a national day of prayer and fasting to heal America of its economic woes.

• Speaker John Boehner is very confused about what he believes on the War Powers Act.

• Republicans are resorting to their Clinton-era dove attitudes when it comes to Freedom Bombs.  Though it's refreshing to see Republicans not so giddy for endless war, I can't help but think it's only because they no longer control the military.

• 75 percent of the members currently serving in Congress voted for at least one — and in most cases more than one — of three policies that contributed to fully one-third of the $12.7 trillion swing from projected surpluses to real debt: President George W. Bush's 2001 and 2003 tax cuts, funding for the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq and President Obama's 2009 stimulus bill.

Repubs to Reaffirm God

Because, in the words of Republican Rep Steven King of Iowa, the "people who revert to the hard-core left" this nation has turned its back on God.  To make God happy again, Republicans want to reaffirm the national motto In God We Trust.

We all know who Republicans believe the hardcore left to be. Rep. Steven King thinks President Obama reverts to the hardcore left. He thinks Nancy Pelosi does as well; and really anyone who is a Democrat.  King also doesn't believe President Obama has a birth certificate, which would mean he thinks the one in Hawaii is a fake.

King said he believes the forming of America was delivered by the hand of God. "I believe the Founding Fathers were moved around like men on a chessboard put in place at that time so the world could have America."  Men on a chessboard of course.  No women, just white men exactly like Steve King.

King didn't mention that these men being moved around a chessboard by God's hand were either slave owners, very wealthy elitists, not even born in America or all of the above.  That the guy who actually wrote the Bill of Rights argued against ratification of the Constitution.  Or that the Constitution itself was so imperfect that it's had to be corrected 27 times because it left out obvious things like women's rights, blacks not being slaves, term limits for presidents and so on.

Thankfully we have the GOP to rewrite American history and remind us how ignorant we are.

Big Government Has Nothing to do With God

Moral crusader, war cheerleader, Christian jihadist and Republican Senator from South Carolina, Jim DeMint, thinks the bigger government gets the less people rely on God.

"I’ve said it often and I believe it – the bigger government gets, the smaller God gets. As people become more dependent on government, less dependent on God."

This is truly interesting.  No one president in the last 75 years has increased the size of government more than George W. Bush.

As president, Bush instituted at least 8 tax payer funded government bailouts of private industry totaling over $1 trillion-- the largest government interference of the private sector in American history.  He created the largest bureaucracy in the world with the Dept. of Homeland Security.  And then turned around and created the second largest with No Child Left Behind.  He placed FEMA in charge of every disaster, flood, snowfall and street shoveling job in America.  He single handily issued over 1,200 signing statements directly exempting himself from federal laws.  He also enacted the largest expansion of Medicare since its inception.  A huge government expansion of health care that is completely unfunded and adds nearly a trillion dollars to the deficit.

It's actually very hard to overstate just how much government grew under George Bush and the Republicans.

In terms of fiscal policy, his two terms were a disaster for this country.  Upon entering office the federal budget was running the largest surpluses in history. Within his first 6 months in office, Bush turned it into a deficit.  By the time he left, the deficit was $1.4 trillion-- the largest in American history.  Not one single policy, initiative or war was ever funded or paid for.  In addition, the Dow lost half its value. His two terms witnessed a net of zero job creation in 8 years-- the worst on record. And GDP grew at its slowest pace since the Great Depression.

By the time he finally left office, government was larger and running a trillion dollar deficit.  Unemployment had doubled, GDP was shrinking, and we were still fighting two endless wars that were as unpopular as he was.  It was the worst two terms in American history.

Yet during all that, Senator Jim DeMint never said one word.  He never complained Bush was replacing religion with Government.  He never said a word.  He supported all of it. But now that Bush is gone and Republicans are no longer in power, God's servant is worried.  Sounds fake doesn't it?  That's because he is.  Wouldn't you think someone who is so concerned about government replacing God would have spoken up during that time?  Not when it's Republicans doing it.  According to DeMint and his fraudulent ideology, all of it was okay, if not ordained by God since it was the GOP.

Typical response from a Republican, yes.  But it's more than that.  They do it every time.  It's not that someone DeMint didn't vote for is in office.  It's that someone who hates God and loves Government is destroying our country.  This is always the case even though the Republican record of governance is of nothing but growing government and creating huge deficits.  This has nothing to do with God except for Republicans use it to scare the American people.

I'm Superior to 99% of the Population

Not really. Not even close actually. The test was simple, basic and easy.

Via Cooper:

15 out of 15 correctly

I can only conclude from all of this that God has ordained me to blog.

The Election in One Post

Only once in a long while does something come around that precisely sums up an entire era in a matter of sentences.  This is one of those rare times.

Campaigning together in Louisiana, Congressman John Fleming and Senator David Vitter spoke to a Republican woman's club in their home state. Fleming eloquently summed up this year's midterms:

"We have two competing world views here and there is no way that we can reach across the aisle -- one is going to have to win," said Rep. John Fleming, R-La. [...]

"We are either going to go down the socialist road and become like Western Europe and create, I guess really a godless society, an atheist society. Or we're going to continue down the other pathway where we believe in freedom of speech, individual liberties and that we remain a Christian nation.

"So we're going to have to solve that argument before we can once again reach across and work together on things."

As Joel Connelly writes on his blog, according to the GOP we are facing a choice between a "Godless," and "atheist society" or a "Christian nation."  By all means choose the Christian nation, please.  And the way to vote for a Christian nation is, of course, to vote for God's Party and cast your ballot for a Republican.

This is the Bush 2004 strategy.  It worked.  It turned out the base.  People were terrified that if John Kerry won, God would punish this country.  Fortunately for America, Bush was reelected and we witnessed another 4 years of endless war, a Dow that lost thousands of points, an economy that created not one single job and an administration that ran up trillion dollars of debt.  I couldn't imagine what God's punishment would have looked like had Bush lost.

Sen. Vitter, God's Family Man

Seemingly the story would end there.  But it doesn't.  Many will already have caught on that Fleming was with Sen. David Vitter when he made the remarks about choosing God or a socialist-atheist society.  As we all know, Vitter is a man of God and the perfect man to represent what exactly it is that voters are choosing.  Vitter is a self-described pro-life moral crusader who has routinely campaigned on being a moral values family man.  He also pays prostitutes for sex.  

The choice couldn't be clearer.  Nor could their derangement.

Rentaboy.com Preacher Was Best Gay Hater Expert Florida Could Find

Florida Attorney General Bill McCollum has no regrets about using the Christian-Right, Republican and co-founder of the Family Research Council who innocently took a gay prostitute he had rented online from rentaboy.com to Europe for a whirlwind trip as an expert witness to testify about the immorality of homosexuality.

"You don't find very many experts out there, people willing to testify, especially on academic campuses that are, actually, very discriminating today against people with views that differ from theirs, especially on issues like the gay issue," McCollum said.

"He was the best expert that was available and willing to testify." 

Let's see here.  The best expert they could find to testify in court against homosexuality was a gay preacher that spent his leisure time renting male prostitutes from the internet?  Actually, it sounds about right.

Sharron Angle Obeys God

Walking With God has never been easier. Just run for elected office as a Republican and God will have a plan for you too.

"How do you explain all this? You're now a national story, are you kind of overwhelmed by it all?" asked Reed.

"I believe that God has been in this from the beginning and because of that when he has a plan and a purpose for your life and you fit into that, what he calls you to he always equipped you for," Angle replied.

Modern GOP Welcomes 15th Century

If this was the 1400s the Republican Party would be riding high. What's sad, is it's 2010 and Republicans really think their 15th century thinking proves they are America's Saviors.

Today's installment of the Republican Walk With God brings us U.S. senate hopeful Sir Rand "the Trinity" Paul from Kentucky and Sen. Chuck Grassley of Iowa.   Sir Rand gets all tied up with his super libertarian wisdom when he can't quite bring himself to answer a question from a right wing Christian about how old he thinks the earth is.



Just like telling black people they can only enter certain public establishments, it's also a hard part of freedom to not admit you think the earth is older than 6,000 years. If you do admit the earth is millions of years old, you run the risk of alienating about half your electorate. Difficult days for the GOP when a 15th century norm stumps you.

Then yesterday in the grand halls of Congress, Sen. Grassley pondered with the next Supreme Court Justice of the United States if she thought Almighty God ordained Americans with the right to bear arms. Not that the Founders wrote it in as the 2nd Amendment to the Constitution, or that they were being directed by God while writing it in, but that ominous right surpasses even the creation of the Land of Milk Honey by being delivered on High from God Himself.



Just so everyone is straight here, leading Republicanism means the earth is 6,000 years old and God surpasses the Constitutional right to bear arms. You see, if it's God's Will that we have an SKS at our side, then anyone who says we have no need for certain kinds of weapons is going against God and His perfect creation for mankind. And whoever that person is, obviously isn't fit for office because in the 15th century only those who abide by God's understanding are fit to lead us. Wheee!!!