Pat Robertson Admits Earth is Older Than 6,000 Years

Looks like God has had an intervention.  What is it they say about elections having consequences?

As long as you don't act gay it's fine

Republican Preacher Man Rick Warren tells Piers Morgan that having natural gay feelings is fine as long as people act straight.

It's a good thing he's not pro-choice or he would have lost

Remember Rep. Scott DesJarlais (R-TN)?  He's the pro-life, pro-family values, pro-Jesus, God-fearing and tea bagger backed Congressman from the Bible Belt of Tennessee.  He's also a medical doctor.  Back in October I wrote about how he asked his constituents to please judge him by his morals and values from his second marriage only.  Honestly, it's what Jesus would do.

The good people of his District did what God told them to do and reelected DesJarlais by a huge margin.  And now that his campaign is over and his reelection is final, a Tennessee court finally released DesJarlais' divorce records, which Democrats had been pushing for months.  Luckily for DesJarlais there's nothing in those records that should hurt his standing as a man led by God, chosen by Godly people to represent them in their fight against the persecution of Christianity's moral values.

Those records merely indicate that, in addition to being caught on tape in 2000 trying to convince his mistress (and former patient) to have an abortion, that he had slept with two patients, two coworkers and a drug representative.  He also testified that he approved of his wife's decision to have two abortions in the 90s.

Like I said, nothing at all that should hurt his standing in the God-fearing, moral values-centered Republican Fantasy World.  They're all insane.  Everyone one of them.

Endorse Jesus, Vote Romney

"Some came to here to hear an endorsement.  My endorsement will be Jesus. I’ll tell you whom I’m going to vote for, but I don’t think that makes it an endorsement. I’m going to vote for Mitt Romney, but I’m not telling you to.”-- Jim Garlow San Diego Church Pastor, from the pulpit

Because Heaven Is A Vote Away

Wouldn't be an election year without churches and the GOP streamlining their message.  Today's installment of tax exempt GOP political campaigning:

• The pastor of New Hope Baptist Church in Seneca, Kansas, Republican Curtis Knapp says President Barack Obama has gone too far in supporting same sex marriage and it’s time for the U.S. government to begin killing gay men and lesbians. 

• Young Republican sings a song of joy.  “The Bible is right, somebody’s wrong,” the boy, who appears to be around 4-years-old, sings. “Romans 1 and 27, ain’t no homo gonna make it to heaven.”  Before the boy can finish the song, members of the congregation jump their feet, applauding and cheering wildly. 

• A right wing Christian think tank is telling President Barack Obama that the “wages of sin is death” after he announced support for equal marriage rights for LGBT people.  Republican and Grand Leader of the  Family Research Council, Tony Perkins, penned a letter to the president citing what he believes to the sinful nature of Obama's policies.
  

• Republican Pastor Ronnie Spriggs of Hager Hill Freewill Baptist Church in Kentucky said during a May 13 sermon that he wants Obama voted out of office because of the president's support of gay marriage.

With Jesus Not in the Race, Romney Will Have To Do

Man of God Pat Robertson told his millions of viewers that without Jesus being in the race, Mitt Romney was their only hope.

“The question is if you have two candidates, you don’t have Jesus running against somebody else. You have Obama running against Romney.”

There was never any chance the Christian Right wackos were going to vote for Obama in the first place.  I'm actually proud of the fact that the same guy I vote for is loathed by the wing nut crusaders.  I wouldn't be able to sleep at night knowing the guy I voted for was only allowed to believe the earth is but 6,000 years old.

Leading Republican Evangelical: Romney Doesn't Share Our Beliefs

One of the most excruciating elements of the Obama presidency has been the right wing lie that the president is not a Christian.  Since at least 2007 (possibly way longer) Republicans have been fueling a conspiracy charge that Barack Obama is either a secret Muslim or is waging a war against Christianity, or both-- with help, of course, from his terrorist pals in al qeada, the Black Panthers, the Weather Underground and from his tree hugging liberal commie fascist friends.  The whole thing really makes no sense.  Yet its a staple Republican talking point and one of the main reasons they claim they don't like him and can't vote for him.

On the other hand...

The reality, though, is President Obama is a Christian.  The other reality, though, is the Republican nominee for president, Mitt Romney, is not.  He's a Mormon.  And Mormons are not Christians, at least not in the doctrinal sense of the Holy Bible.  But hey, don't take my word for it.  Leading right wing Christian fundamentalist and mega-church pastor, Rick Warren, on Easter Sunday clearly stated Mormons are not Christians.  Therefore, the man millions of self-proclaimed Christians, who have for at least half a decade tarnished Obama for not being one of them, will cast their votes for someone who is not one of them.  And they'll do so without hesitation and will giddily continue their jihad against black Democrats running the country because Jesus tells them to.  That's hypocrisy for ya.  But don't worry, it all makes perfect sense in their fantasy world.

Latest Round of Birth Control Hot Buttons Became Law Under Bush Administration

Led by the self-labeled Christian Right, Republicans are in an uproar over President Obama's decision to require employers to offer birth control in their insurance programs.  One of the key words in all of this is "offer."  Women won't be forced to use birth control if they don't want to. But if one does, you know want to avoid getting pregnant for whatever reason, their insurance programs will cover it, or at least that's the proposal by the administration.

[Hey, if I want to get a prescription from my doctor to give me endless hours of raging boners my insurance company has to cover it.  But that's okay.  I'm allowed to do this with no questions asked.  It's only when women's health is involved that we are forced to stop, take a breath and defer to what the Bible tells us.]

Doing this is nothing short of shredding the Constitution according to Republicans.  The first thing they bring up are all the religious organizations who employ thousands of people in this country being forced to handout birth control to women; women they demand turn over their reproductive rights to Biblical principles written entirely by men.  Again, the cool thing about all this is if the women who work for religious places don't want to take birth control pills they don't have to.  The whole thing is based on personal liberty as decided individually by the women themselves.  Don't know how much more libertarian that can be.  And no libertarianism has nothing to do with preventing government from telling business that they can't limit the personal liberties of their employees.  Libertarianism is the protection of the individual not corporations or groups of people.

Yet all that is way too ideological or wonkish for most Republicans to understand.  They only want to deal with the hot buttons of their made-up conspiracy behind Obama forcing women to take birth control.  They don't want to have to explain it any further than that.  They especially don't want to talk about the fact that the central mandate behind all of this was law all through Bush's two terms and never did the right wing freak out then.

There's one simple answer for that.  Bush was a Republican.  And that's all the Christian Right really cares about.  His administration enforcing laws forbidding insurance companies from paying for preventive care for women was okay because Republicans are led by God.  They don't have to prove their Christianity.  Even when they host Ramadan banquets and skip out on Christian prayer services it's perfectly fine.  Their faith is never questioned.  Only Democrats have to play by different rules and the media is more than game at enforcing the double standard.

How to Level the Religion Playing Field

There's a discussion thread on a post from a few days ago I want to highlight.  One because it's civil.  And two because it makes me look like I care and like I'm holier than thou.  Trust me, I don't care and I in no way want to give off the perception that I'm holy (or especially that I'm holy and care).

Otter With Kids does an excellent job and I commend him/her for keeping it clean and staying on topic.  I just want to add a couple things, however.

I've said a few hundred times on this blog that I don't care what Mormons believe.  They have every right to believe what they want.  I'm more than okay with them taking to heart their faith. And to be honest, every Mormon I have ever met has always been nothing but nice and open minded.  I wish I could say the same thing about the Christian Right.

Though I do want to clarify a few things from that thread.  I in no way even pretend, nor do I want to be associated with defining what is or isn't Christian.  I'll let those with a vested interest, whether hypocritical or not is not for me to decide, be the people labeling such things. All I can do is give my opinion, which is just as valid as any opposing opinion.

Secondly, as I've said so many times, the point of me writing about Mitt Romney's religion is not to define it but to point out how Republicans get to play by different rules when it comes to such very personal matters like religion.

At least since 2004, when the president first entered the national scene, we've heard from self-labeled right wing Christians that Obama is Muslim, that he hates America, that he wants to impose Sharia law, that he is waging a war against Christians, and many, many other very untrue things.  The only reason Republicans do this is because the president is a Democrat. There's no other reason to do it because Mr. Obama is definitely a Christian and is not doing any of the things they claim.  It's simply because he's a Democrat that they keep with the fear and lies.

Proof of my analysis is Mitt Romney.  Here's a guy that believes in things that are absolutely against the basis of mainstream Christianity.  Neither the Pope, the Catholic church, Methodists, Baptists, Episcopal, Pentecost, Lutheran, or any denomination accept the beliefs of Romney's church.  Absolutely none.  In fact, they call his beliefs non-Christian, blasphemus, even treason.  But no where is Romney being labeled by the media or by the very people who so condone Obama as hating America and God.  He gets a free pass.  The only difference is Romney is a Republican.  If Barack Obama believed the Garden of Eden was in Missouri, that there are multiple Gods, that Joseph Smith is a prophet, that God lives in outer space he would have been impeached by now.  Romney hasn't even been asked a question about it.  Obama, who is a mainstream Christian, is bombarded daily by mainstream Christians.  It's crazy.

Now I know a lot of the reason Romney is getting a free pass is because Democrats don't care to make his religion an issue.  I actually get more push back from Dems for bringing up his religion than I do from anyone else.  I'm not saying Democrats need to do what the Christian Right does to our candidates.  I'm just saying there's nothing wrong for the unequal playing field to be pointed out.  I think an honest and excellent rebuttal every time Fox News runs a segment on Obama's war on Christianity is to mention that Mitt Romney believes God lives on a planet in outer space and that Adam and Eve lived in Missouri.

That's not judging.  It's just pointing out how wrong Fox News is in the first place and how way out of line the GOP has become.  I'm one who believes that when they hit you, you hit back. It's a strategy right from the playbooks of FDR, Kennedy and Bill Clinton.  You don't have to kick 'em in the nuts, but you sure can give a backhand.

*Update:

It literally only took about two clicks away from writing this post to find even more evidence as to why I refuse to let the religion issue be one-sided.

Fresh off a full-sweep in Tuesday's GOP elections, Rick Santorum says President Obama wants to send Christians off to be beheaded.

“As we saw in the Ninth Circuit just this week, that if you believe that [same sex marriage is wrong] — this is what the court said — that if believe that, if believe what’s taught in Genesis, if you believe what’s practiced Biblically and a generation since then you are irrational. The only possible reason you could believe this, according to the Ninth Circuit, is that you are a bigot and that you are a hater.”

He continued: “They are taking faith and crushing it. Why? When you marginalize faith in America, when you remove the pillar of God-given rights then what’s left is the French Revolution. What’s left is a government that gives you rights. What’s left are no unalienable rights. What’s left is a government that will tell you who you are, what you’ll do and when you’ll do it. What’s left in France became the the guillotine.”

Really Rick?  The guy you are running against believes Genesis took place in Missouri.  How are we supposed to teach that?

Republican Christian Right Group Praises Deadbeat Dad Joe Walsh for Unwavering Support of the Family

All things in the Republican Fantasy World eventually come full circle.  Just like Republicans get to label themselves as being fiscal conservatives and worried about the deficit, even though they have no track record of ever doing any of that, they too get to pat themselves on the back for being moral crusaders-- even when it comes to abandoning your kids.

Everybody's favorite deadbeat tea bagger, Joe Walsh (R-IL) who owes over $117,000 in back child support, was honored by Republican Tony Perkins' Family Research Council for his outstanding commitment to families.

Via Sun Times:

“Cong. Walsh and other ‘True Blue Members’ have voted to repeal Obamacare, de-fund Planned Parenthood, end government funding for abortion within the health care law, uphold the Defense of Marriage Act, and continue support for school choice. I applaud their commitment to uphold the institutions of marriage and family.”

Reaffirming God Was to Remind Obama

It's not like we really needed any descriptive reason as to why Republicans thought it important to hold a vote on a nonbinding resolution supposedly reaffirming America's motto as "In God We Trust."  We all know why Republicans did this when there are many more pressing things Congress should be doing.  They did it to appease their lunatic Christian base and to once again try to paint themselves as being the party of God and the true bearers of God's plan for America.

The leader of the "Prayer Caucus," Tom Price (R-GA), says it was also to remind the president just what the motto is.  Nothing at all to do with furthering the Godless Muslim conspiracy. Just a simple reminder.  Wheee!

Wonder why the Republican-controlled house never sought to remind George Bush that Iraq had nothing to do with 9/11?  That's way more important than Obama sort of mistakenly saying our motto is E pluribus unum.  If they're so imperative about people getting facts straight, that was an ample opportunity to remind a president of a very costly error.

Why Ron Paul Should Never Be Called a Libertarian Again, but will because he has some sort of cloak that makes him a super tough guy patriot

I've gotten a number of emails asking why Ron Paul's existence at the Values Voter Summit makes me like him less (yes even a few from Paultards telling me I'm not smart enough to understand how great he is).  I mentioned this in a post a couple days ago. And here's the short story of why.

As a primer, I would never vote for anyone who is courting the votes of people who follow Tony Perkins and his Christian Right neanderthals.  They are scary End Timers who cheer on War Without End.  They are as fake as they come and did I mention scary.  They claim to possess and seek out others who will represent their moral and family values.  In reality, there is nothing moral about anything they say or do.  The very thought that someone would compete for the votes of these people is disgusting.

On a more ideological note, someone who claims to be a libertarian, like Ron Paul so famously does, would not in anyway give End Timers or their conference the time of day.  That's not to say that Ron Paul or someone who is a libertarian can't be religious or subscribe to an element of faith.  I'm not saying that at all.  Of course they can do all that.  But a true libertarian does not believe in combining religion with politics.  And that's exactly the intent of the conference, to combine religion with politics. More precisely, a libertarian would not pander for their votes and certainly wouldn't give a speech like Paul did talking about how faith guides his political judgments.

Considering Ron Paul's pandering of the Values Voter Summit, his stance on abortion, his stance on gay marriage and equal rights, it's impossible to label him a libertarian.  He's not.  He's a Republican.  And judging from his recent winning of the Values Voter straw poll, his speech to the End Timers and his insistence on white male victimization he's no different than any other Republican who has run for president since the 80s.

When Ron Paul Wins It's an Outlier

No doubt every straw poll is meaningless.  They are not a measurement of anything except to a small extent of campaign organization and even that too might be an overstatement.  Nonetheless, we've seen our share of Republicans running for the finish line when it comes to bragging about the results.  Don't forget, either, the over-exaggeration is all made possible by the media establishment.  Michelle Bachmann was treated like queen frontrunner, even though she clearly wasn't, after winning a straw poll at the Iowa state fair.

Rare it is though, or maybe never do you see the actual organizers of the straw poll shrugging off its over-hyped importance.  Typically straw poll organizers, like Values Voter Summit leader Tony Perkins, do everything they can to ensure the masses that their straw poll is necessary and trustworthy.  Prior to the event "Perkins said his organization did 'everything to preserve the integrity of this straw poll,' including denying campaigns from buying blocks of tickets, "which they attempted to do this year."  Well that was before Ron Paul won it.

Within minutes after Paul captured 37% of the vote, enough to garner him the win, Perkins began shrugging off the victory even suggesting its irrelevancy. 

“I don’t think Ron Paul is truly reflective of where values voters stand,” said Perkins on CNN’s "American Morning on Monday."  Perkins went on to call Paul's win an "outlier" and even accused Paul's supporters of ballot-stuffing.

Wow, I really don't think I've ever seen a poll organizer do such a thing.

It's clear Ron Paul wasn't supposed to win Perkins' poll.  Perkins would have preferred Herman Cain, Perry or even Romney over Paul.  Since that didn't happen, Perkins does what every Christian Moralist and George Bush voter does and shrugs the poll off as being detached from the mainstream of voters.  I find it hard to believe if one of Perkins' chosen ones had won, he would have been calling it an "outlier."

God Sends Earthquake and Hurricane to Warn Feds

Republican Presidential candidate Michelle Bachmann, who is just crazy as a loon, said over the weekend that the recent earthquake and hurricane are messages from God that politicians need to control spending.

“I don’t know how much God has to do to get the attention of the politicians. We’ve had an earthquake; we’ve had a hurricane. He said, ‘Are you going to start listening to me here?’ Listen to the American people because the American people are roaring right now. They know government is on a morbid obesity diet and we’ve got to rein in the spending.”

Is there really anything else to add to her commentary? Take this recent statement into the context that her and her husband believe gays can be healed through prayer and have tried such therapy sessions on numerous occasions and you get the modern day equivalent of a lunatic.

*Update:

Ooooops....looks like I judged her Christian jihadist abilities too quickly.  Bachmann says her comment that God has sent earthquakes and hurricanes to America to get us to shape us fiscally was only a joke.  Hahahahahhahahaha...laugh people.

Typically you tell jokes about funny things with cute little punch lines.  Guess that's not what the kids are doing anymore.

DC Federal Judge Upholds Constitutionality of Health Care Reform

A Democratically-appointed judge in DC has tossed out a lawsuit claiming that President Barack Obama's requirement that all Americans have health insurance violates the religious freedom of those who rely on God to protect them. In other words, Republicans were arguing Obama's reform forces people to go against the Will of God.

"Kessler rejected both arguments and ruled that Congress has the right to regulate health care spending under the Commerce Clause and that the individual mandate must be viewed not as a stand-alone reform but as an essential part of the law Obama signed 11 months ago aimed at reducing overall costs. She also said that anyone who objects to having health care for religious reasons can choose to pay the penalty instead — as the lawsuit said all five plaintiffs plan to do."

Take that God.

Another Federal Judge Upholds Affordable Care Act

A second federal judge has upheld President Obama's HCR package. Obvious conclusions for anybody that knows the least bit about the Constitution.

The court found "there is a rational basis for Congress to conclude that individuals’ decisions about how and when to pay for health care are activities that in the aggregate substantially affect the interstate health care market."

Striking to me is that this case was brought by Liberty University, also known as the right reverend Jerry Falwell's self-proclaimed Christian church. We all know Jesus told us to forsake the sick and not to bear one anothers burdens. Chalk another loss up to the Christian Right Wrong.

Bryan Fischer Wants More Killing Like Jesus Taught Us

My favorite Republican pastor, Bryan Fischer, is again spreading God's call for more violence and death to the millions of lost souls in America.  This time he's solely focused on not enough killing.

Fischer is mad that President Obama awarded the Medal of Honor to an alive Army vet instead of a dead one.  Not only does this Army vet have a pulse, he also received the medal for saving lives on the battle field.  Rev. Fischer, who is ordained by God, says the award should be for men who have killed instead of men who have saved lives.

But I have noticed a disturbing trend in the awarding of these medals, which few others seem to have recognized.

We have feminized the Medal of Honor.

According to Bill McGurn of the Wall Street Journal, every Medal of Honor awarded during these two conflicts has been awarded for saving life. Not one has been awarded for inflicting casualties on the enemy. Not one.

This is a disturbing trend.  There is not near enough killing going on in our wars.

There can be no denying that the message of Jesus is one of death and destruction.  If you don't believe like we do, and that being in the complete Divinity of Christ, then death awaits you.  Jesus told us to go spread cluster bombs and M-4 casings.  By not adhering to the Word of God, we deny the very example Jesus set for us. Writes Rev. Fischer:

Jesus, in words often cited in ceremonies such as the one which will take place this afternoon, said, “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lays down his life for his friends” (John 15:13). So it is entirely right that we honor this kind of bravery and self-sacrifice, which is surely an imitation of the Lord of Lord and King of Kings.

However, Jesus’ act of self-sacrifice would ultimately have been meaningless - yes, meaningless - if he had not inflicted a mortal wound on the enemy while giving up his own life.

Amen to that. Being God's Right Hand Man, Fischer knows a thing or two about following the example of killing and destruction Jesus set for us. Being of prime fighting age during another one of Jesus' war callings in Vietnam, Fischer never went. He instead went to the prestigious Standford University avoiding entirely the Lord's work.  When he was of prime killing age, when God was calling all good Christians to kill for America, Fischer was no where to be found.  God has obviously forgiven him for his sins because Fischer is now doing more than his share of heavy lifting for the Lord-- you know, just so long as he isn't the one doing the fighting and dying.

Power, power, Wonder working power
in the Blood of the Lamb

Letter to Bryan Fischer

To: bfischer@afa.net
From: chris@thefoldblog.com
Subject: Gen. 1:28

Rev. Bryan Fischer:

I was encouraged to see your recent blog post about killing the Grizzly Bears living in Yellowstone National Park. I for one am glad to see somebody finally standing up for our rights granted to us in Genesis which gives white males humans dominion over all the things earth related.  I too have been bothered by the recent unwarranted attacks by "savage beasts" without rhyme or reason.  Who are they to kill us?  We should be killing them; like you say by shooting "these man-eaters on sight."  That will learn them.

One thing liberals are not understanding is how do they think we got rid of the dinosaurs?  We all know that white males humans walked this earth with the dinosaurs and that we finally got tired of being killed by them and rebuked them in the word of Genesis 1:28 capping their ass until there were none left.  Maybe the Grizzlies should take notice.

I am, however, cautioned that you stopped short of calling for an all-out uprising against the beasts of this earth.  Did God only destroy half the earth with a flood the last time we were cursed?  Did God only call for one of Lot's daughters to have sex with him?  No, it was all or nothing.  God is not a halfway God.  I do hope that you re-seek your interpretation and find that God is calling all of us to wage war against all beasts and/or things that perturb us.

Your servitude partner in God (in a manly heterosexual way),

Chris

p.s., this does explain a lot

Despite Years of Claiming a Bachelor's Degree, Christine O'Donnell Finally Gets One

Tea bagger Christine O'Donnell who I first mentioned in the post below is really capturing my attention.  I think her candidacy is the embodiment of what we are seeing all over the country.  A relatively unknown person who thinks the government is being occupied by enemies believes she can reclaim the Christian foundation the Founding Fathers intended for every American.  Not that she disagrees on a policy level with Democrats or didn't vote for the president, but that anyone who does not believe everything she believes and does it exactly the way she wants it done is an enemy that must be destroyed, and obviously not adhering to the Bible.

In 2008 or 2006 a candidate like O'Donnell would not have stood a chance.  The country was tired of George Bush theologans and desparately wanted a break from GOP rule.  But 2010 is a totally different story.  With the Democrats capturing huge majorities in Congress and the rise of a popular black man to the presidency whose father was born a Muslim in Africa, the right wing with solid help from Fox News has been able to convince millions of people that America is doomed unless we turn back to God.

planet kolob

Now when they say God, they mean their God.  Not your God but their God.  When Glenn Beck holds his Beckapalooza on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial and tells the 80,000 in attendance that God is leading him and the country needs to listen, he absolutely means his God and not yours.  Interesting to point out, Glenn Beck's God was born on Planet Kolob.  Doesn't sound very Christian to me but who am I too judge.

Back to my point.  Christine O'Donnell not only believes the Bible frowns on masturbation because it creates lust, she is also so into Biblical principles that she's been lying about her college degree.  For years she has listed herself as a graduate of Fairleigh Dickinson University.  Only the truth is she never graduated.  Well until this week that is.  Luckily for her the Bible doesn't say anything about lying while tea bagging.  And luckily for her since she is a female having nuts slapped on her face means it's heterosexual which the Bible says is awesome.

Church Carnival Contains Shoot the President Game

Unfreakinbelievable! A so-called church in Massachusetts PA hosts a carnival that contained a game where contestants could shoot President Obama and win a prize.

Even though the figure was a black man holding a piece of paper labeled "health care bill" and wore a belt buckle with the presidential seal on it, the pastor of the church said it was not meant to be the president.  He's a liar.  And the right wing is insane.

See for yourself:

If these people are making it to heaven, I don't want to go.

*editor's note:

The post has been corrected from it's original to correct the location of the church.